Tuesday, October 13, 2009

And God Said, "Go out and be morons... and vote Republican"

I’m starting to sound like a broken record. But I can’t help myself. There is just too much fodder out there and I can’t lay off! Let me touch on two that really punched my buttons.

The first one is a doozy. The Conservative Bible Project. Heard of it? See the title of this blog post? It's coming soon to a Bible near you. This group of right wing lunatics have taken it upon themselves to rewrite the Bible. Yes, that Bible. The one that has apparently been subjected to an incredible amount of “liberal bias” in its historical translations. These people want to do things like “provide a strong framework that provides a thought for thought translation without corruption of liberal bias” (no, I’m not making this up). “Avoid unisex ‘gender inclusive’ language” which they feel somehow “emasculates” the writings (I swear, I’m not making this up). Express “free market “parables explaining the many economic parables and their full free market meanings” (please believe me when I say I’m not making this up). “Utilize powerful conservative terms as they develop”. Apparently “defective translations” use the word comrade three times more often than the word volunteer (I was unaware they had the same meaning. Isn’t a comrade a friend or companion while a volunteer is someone who willfully agrees to do something? I know you think I’m making this up… I’m not). This is a good one…. “Prefer conciseness over Liberal Wordiness” (Conciseness? What have I been telling you?... haven’t I stated that there are a lot of conservative morons out there? This seems to validate it…. Don’t want too many WORDS in the Bible. Might confuse the idiots. Did I mention I’m not making this up?). How’s this? “Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story” (now they have us here… apparently there are Biblical Scholars out there that do in fact believe this was added after the original. It’s in the Gospel of John by the way. And they think it was added sometime in the 12th century! Oh, those medieval liberals. Even THEN they were making trouble!).

By the way, all those clumsily worded sentences up there are theirs, not mine. Yes, I know… their writing technique is a little fractured. Just the people we want editing a text that’s been around for close to 2000 years. “And on day one, God lit it up… the world that is… in a concise, conservative, masculine way”. Has a nice ring to it.

Now, I have to ask, isn’t the Bible a pretty conservative text as is? I mean, I’ve NEVER seen a photo of the Pope “getting down with his good thang”, have you? It’s one thing to take a liberal or conservative interpretation home with you. But to rewrite the book? Is the Bible really viewed as a manual for liberal living by these dolts? Does this mean that they can just rewrite anything they take issue with? Are they completely detached from reality? Are they saying they have been using this book as a blueprint for their lives and all this time it’s been wrong? Just to be clear, I don’t like the verbiage of “Gone With The Wind” so it’s perfectly OK if I form some kind of “dim bulb” society and rewrite it in comic book form? Can they even do that with the Bible? Isn’t it some kind of sacred text? Is it copywrited? When these nut cases are done will they go after the Talmud and the Koran? And just to prove I’m not making this up (and I’m not) here’s a link. Check it out for yourselves. This is what you get when you vote Republican.


Here’s the next thing for today. Have you heard of the “American Family Association”? I think they are just barely above the Ku Klux Klan on the tolerance scale. You can check them out here….


See the big morphing banner at the top of the page? If you watch it long enough it will ask you to sign the pledge to boycott Pepsi products. Why? Because they support the homosexual agenda (I told you they were near the KKK in tolerance). This is another thing you get when you vote Republican. Just peruse the website and it’s numerous references to “Obamacare” , mudslinging at the Nobel win, the argument for prayer in schools, etc. Wing-nuts. They’re everywhere.

So, what can we do about these wing-nuts. If you have ever tried to carry on an intelligent debate with one you are very much aware that there really isn’t much we can do at all. It’s like talking to a wall. If you even hint at anything of substance they revert to robotic talking points that are unrelated to the topic and make very little sense. Take Kirk Cameron of “Family Ties” fame. He’s on a mission to get the public schools to teach creationism. Evolution is just plain wrong. Darwin had no idea what he was talking about and fossils are just a couple of thousand years old. His arguments are very compelling… if you are a moron. Google him and be amazed. But getting back to what we can do… These web pages don’t offer a “contact us” drop down. I’m guessing it’s because they have been FLOODED with declarations of just how stupid they really are and can’t take it anymore. But I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to try to buy “Pepsico”. It’s not just Pepsi they own you know. They do Tropicana, Quaker Oats, and a myriad of other products. Surely something to please everyone. So I’m asking a favor. Go out and buy as much Pepsico product as you can afford. Maybe if these dimwits see a reverse effect to their efforts they will go away quietly.

And then ignore them.


Common Sense

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