Tuesday, July 20, 2010

To Tea, or Not To Tea....

I just got a message from an old friend that he misses my blogs. I told him I do too! I’ve just been so very busy with other things. But I promised him there was a new one around the corner and there’s certainly enough inspiration out there so… here goes…. This is for you Mr. B! Where to begin… Hmmmmmm......

How about Mark Williams! I guess Mark Williams headed up what was known as the “Tea Party Express”. As you know, I have hypothesized that the Tea Party harbors racists (and morons… more on that later). There’s been some chatter about that of late due to a blog post by Mr. Williams. Now, to be fair to the Tea Party, they have in fact “expelled” both Mr. Williams AND the Tea Party Express from their ranks. Of course, they had little choice. Mr. Williams, in his blog, wrote a letter from the “colored people” to Abraham Lincoln. It said, in part “We Coloreds have taken a vote and decided that we don't cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us Colored People and we demand that it stop!”

David Webb of the National Tea Party Federation was quoted saying “We, in the last 24 hours, have expelled Tea Party Express and Mark Williams from the National Tea Party Federation because of the letter that he wrote which he, I guess, may have considered satire but which was clearly offensive."

First of all, let’s define satire, just in case Mr. Williams did in fact intend his piece to be satirical as Mr. Webb “guesses”. According to various sources on the web (because it’s getting harder to read my dictionary and it’s a pain in the ass to wear my glasses when doing this since the computer screen is in that vague zone between the bifocals that doesn’t allow sight when wearing them. You can see close, you can see far, but you can’t see in between….)

Satire: sarcasm: witty language used to convey insults or scorn. A literary technique of writing or art which principally ridicules its subject often as an intended means of provoking or preventing change. A literary work which belittles or savagely attacks its subject. A distinction is sometimes made between direct and indirect satire. Ah Ha! Direct vs. Indirect. Maybe there is salvation there for Mrs. Williams and Webb!

Direct—satire is directly stated
Indirect satire is communicated through characters in a situation

OK, no salvation there. Let’s go back to Satire…
A literary work which exposes and ridicules human vices or folly. Historically perceived as tending toward didacticism, it is usually intended as a moral criticism directed against the injustice or social wrongs. It may be written with witty jocularity or with anger and bitterness. ...

Hmmmm…. Is it possible that Mr. Williams was trying to communicate to the rest of the world the injustice of inaccurate perceptions that African Americans are incapable of hard work, sound decisions, and accepting consequences? Is it possible that Mr. Williams was doing Black America a favor by calling attention to ill gotten perceptions about “Coloreds”? Of course not. Mr. Williams is a fucking racist! Read the paragraph again. It’s satire all right. It’s a literary work which belittles or savagely attacks its subject.

But what about Mr. Webb? That’s a tougher one. Mr. Webb did the right thing. He eighty-sixed the guy and his fringe group. But he also had to interject the explanatory “which he, I guess, may have considered satire”. Why did he do that? It almost sounds as if he was trying to afford Mr. Williams some consideration that the screw up wasn’t as severe as it appeared. Hey Mr. Williams! IT WAS. It was terribly severe! And your attempt to diminish that, even if ever so slightly, is a sign that you too are likely a fucking racist! Mr. Williams blog post was blatantly and powerfully racist and you’re response needed to be just as blatant and powerful, in fact, probably MORE blatant and powerful , if you wanted to convince us that the Tea Party is not a racist organization. What Mr. Webb should have said was something like “Mr. Williams blog was extremely offensive in its content and in no way conveys the attitude of the Tea Party Federation. Mr. Williams is obviously a fucking racist and we, as an organization, are hopeful that a truckload of “Coloreds” will beat the living shit out of the guy and any other person of similar mind that might be harbored within our federation or its fringe. In fact, I’m heading over to Mr. Williams place right now to get the ball rolling and any Negroes out there who want to join me are more than welcome”. (Note my satirical use of the words Coloreds and Negroes to convey Mr. Webb’s tendency towards racism)

So, in the spirit of satire, here’s my take on a letter from the Tea Party to America (remember, I promised more on the moronic element).

Dear Amerika,

We the peeple of the tee party want you, the peeple of amerika to no we, the peeple of the tee party are sik and tired of you lies and thiefing. And Obama is a muzlem!!! Who was born in muzlemville! Not Amerika!!!! You, the peeple of Amerika need to no that we, the peeple of the tee party think librals are stinkee shit heds!!!! Librals are stoopid. Thay think Obama was born in Hawii, uh…. Hawwae, uh…. Ho-y-ee…. Uh, YOU NO WHUT WE MEEN! And were sik and tired of you librals saying Sarah Palin is stoopid. That’s stoopid. To say Sarah Palin is stoopid is stoopid! She’s not stoopid. She’s a genus! And she wud make a great preseedant!

We the peeple of the tee party don’t want no more taxes. Taxes are bad. Thay take our money and spend it on welfare and ileegal imgrants from Mexco and Muzlemville! Then thay give them free helth care and food stamps. Thay shud work for monee like we doo! And about helth care! Why did you go an scru up our helth care? Now Granpa Floyd will haf ta go stand in front of that deth panal and ask if he can go ahead and live for a couple more months, evan tho hes almost 90! But thay will probly kil him on the spot cus of that pussy thing on his face.

We the peeple of the tee party want to go bak and make Sarah Palin and that other old guy presidant and vise presidant, not Obama the Muzlem who was bored in Muzlemville! Sarah Palin wud make a great presidant. Sheeze not a jooish muzlem. She can see Russia and has sex with Joe the Plummer! We like Joe the Plummer cause he….he…he… OK, wee don’t no why we like him but we do. Cause the old guy, that frend of Sarah Palin who plays poker like that mavrik guy on TV says Plummer Joe is a good guy.

We the peeple of the tee party want to saseed and start our own cuntree. We will call it teepartyville! Eny one that lives there hasta be a tee party persun. NO LIBRALS. Librals are stoopid. And no blak peeple or mynoritees ‘cause theyr all on welfare and food stamps and drink malt likker and fourtifyed wine! They get drunk and steel our tax monee and stuff and burn skools and let peeple frum muzlemville blo up arplanes! With theyr feet! Stinkee feet bombs! It’s disgusting! Theyr stoopid!

So that’s all aMerika. We the peeple of the tee party heerby state that wee are going to start teepartyville now. We think weel start with Mrs. Sippee, Al Abama, and Jorja then maybe move into looeeseeana cus theres oil there for fryin. If that’s OK with Sarah Palin and the mavrick.

Thank You.

The Tee Party Peeple


Common Sense