Friday, April 30, 2010

Let Me In, Immigration Man (Crosby, Stills, and Nash...FYI)

Well, this is a hot one isn’t it? Arizona’s new law will be stimulating some serious debate over the next few months. It will likely be challenged but I’m not even close to the knowledge required in Constitutional Law to predict the outcome. But I will say this, and it may shock some of you…. I’m kind of split on this one.

Now before you throw me to the wolves, let me first state that I don’t SUPPORT it. I’m just not sure I’m vehemently against it. The cons are glaring. It will promote racial profiling. They say it won’t but we all know it will. I can see the banter in court now. “He only checked my immigration status because I’m Mexican”. But how do you prove that, especially when the cop will be denying it. It’s a given that citizens and legal immigrants will be hassled. I don’t like either of these scenarios.

But here’s the rub. If you are here illegally, you are breaking the law. It’s really pretty black and white. You either entered the country legally, or you didn’t. It seems that half the country wants to deport and the other half wants to grant amnesty. I see problems with both.

If we grant amnesty, what kind of message does that send? And what does it do to curb the problem going forward? In fact, if we go this route, wouldn’t that encourage those that want in to try even harder? I believe those that preach this remedy say that a “drop dead date” would need to be established and anyone coming forward after that would be assumed to have entered the country AFTER the amnesty was granted. But I see a whole lot of expense and legal wrangling in our future with or without a drop dead date. It will be messy, to say the least. Just consider the numbers. Currently, an estimated 12 – 20 million undocumented aliens are in the USA. That’s a lot of amnesty!

But it’s a lot of deportation too. Who covers THAT expense? And how do we round all these people up? Deportation is a messy business as well. What about parents who have had children here? Are the kids citizens? I think they are. But the parents are not (and please feel free to jump in here if I’m getting any of this wrong). We don’t really want to split up families but that would invariably happen I’m sure. People might choose to leave their kids with friends and relatives so they can enjoy the opportunities here that aren’t available in their countries of origin. And you know they would try to sneak back in. It will be like bailing out a leaky boat.

I was reading an op-ed piece today that basically said everyone needs to chill. The law isn’t that bad. I was buying into it 100% until I got to the part that stated the Obama administration is at fault for not protecting the interests and security of Arizonans. Then I realized it was written by a right wing douche bag. Did this problem just recently present itself? Is this a number one priority for the administration? When Obama took office we were engaged in two wars, the economy was in the toilet, and the health care debate took on a life of its own (anybody see any “death panels” yet)? Was illegal immigration supposed to trump all of that? What did THE MORON do about it when he was running the show? Put up a little fence?

I’m not sold on either side of this issue but I do think we have an immigration problem and there is shit going on out there that really annoys the hell out of me. If I do business in this country, I should be able to understand who I’m speaking with. All too often I find myself on the phone, or in a bank, or at a restaurant, or a drive through window, or a convenience store, or a myriad of other places and I can’t understand what the person I’m dealing with is saying. It’s one thing if you’re on the phone with a call center in India. I mean, that sucks too but WTF… the people you’re talking to are from India! But when I’m talking to someone in Chicago…

I also think we are too crowded as it is. I’m old enough to remember what it was like when it wasn’t this crowded. You could find parking. Traffic was nothing like it is today. Going to the “country” didn’t take as long because development hadn’t reached out as far as it has now. Twelve to twenty million people is around 7 percent of the population. That seems like a lot to me.

I encountered a situation several years ago that really pissed me off. My neighborhood had experienced some mail theft so I, along with two neighbors, took it upon ourselves to rebuild the frame that houses our mailboxes and replace the old ones with locking boxes. We did the frame work at our expense. The boxes were around 70 bucks each. Every neighbor was eager to get it done. I mean, who wants to get their mail stolen right? Every neighbor, except one. And that neighbor happened to be a somewhat recent immigrant. In fact, they were recent enough to not speak a whole lot of English. You know what they said? They said they shouldn’t have to pay for the mailbox. The government should.

Now, it’s entirely possible that at some subliminal level this is why I’m split on the issue. I’ve lived here all my life and never once did I even remotely entertain the possibility that the government should pay for my mailbox! We wound up getting him a new NON-locking mailbox that was black so it would at least match colors with the others in the frame. And yes we paid for it. I hope he suffered repeated mail theft for the remainder of his stay in the neighborhood (the family has since moved).

So, what do we do? I don’t think we can deport all these people. We don’t have the resources or the money to do it. But if we grant them amnesty, it sends a dangerous message that could encourage even more illegal immigration. I think the answer lies in better securing our borders. And we have a shit load of border to secure. That might not be possible either. But I bet the billions and billions of dollars spent on Iraq and Afghanistan would have gotten us off to a good start!

Feel free to weigh in on this one. It’s a tough issue. Maybe you can help me decide where I stand on it. I’m a pretty humane individual so I think I’m leaning towards the amnesty. But for crying out loud, if we go that route, I’m hoping fluency in English will be included in the package. I hear they hate us in France, in part because we don’t speak French. Hey, I get it…..


Common Sense

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

What's Taxed? My Patience....

The last time I chatted with you we discussed those nasty birthers and whether or not they were all morons. As I stated then, probably not. They are cowards and bigots as well. But I forgot to mention liars. Silly me. Am I forgiven?

When you listen to the right whine and complain about taxes you would think we are all getting a major screw job from the Obama administration. Read the signs at these gatherings of village idiots (more on that later). They don’t want to be taxed. They think they are getting ripped off. Well, read on for more detail (and as promised, I need to thank Greg for the article that supplied this information).

Thanks to the loud volume of the lying, lunatic rants by the right, about a third of the American population think the Obama administration has raised taxes (all of this according to a CBS News/New York Times poll released this month). On the 15th (tax day) thousands of those pesky tea-baggers (who are also comprised mostly of morons but I suspect they house a fair share of bigots, cowards, and liars as well) descended on Washington to protest their heavy tax burden. Around 65% of those yahoos believe the administration has raised taxes.

Are you with me so far? Good. Here is some reality. The only Obama administration policy to impact 2009 tax returns was the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (AKA the stimulus package). This basically provided a tax CUT for 98% of the tax paying citizens of this country. Let’s say that again…. Slowly… so the idiots can follow… 98% of US taxpayers got a tax cut last year. According to William Gale, co-director of the Tax Policy Center and director of the Retirement Security Project at the Brookings Institution, taxes are at their lowest levels for a period extending back 60 years. That would be 1950 (again for you slow ones). Now, we’re obviously talking percentages here, not dollars. But that’s a pretty significant revelation. The lowest level in 60 years? What the fuck are these tea-baggers protesting?

Let’s keep this moving. One third of the Recovery Act was made up of tax credits. Here’s a list…
• An increase in the Earned Income Tax Credit
• An expansion of the Child Tax Credit
• For those who work, the Making Work Pay tax credit offered $400 per individual and $800 per couple
• For those who lost their job, there was a 65 percent tax credit to help cover the cost of health care. The first $2,400 in unemployment benefits went tax-free
• Up to $2,500 under the American Opportunity Credit for students and parents paying for college tuition
• $8,000 for first-time home buyers
• A deduction of state and local taxes paid on a new car
• Up to $1,500 for home improvements to increase energy efficiency

Here’s an impact quote from the article. “Even conservative advocacy group Americans for Tax Reform, which advocates for a single, national flat tax rate, found some praise for the Recovery Act -- specifically for provisions allowing small businesses to write off a wider range of business expenses.”

Whoa! Wait a minute. A conservative group had praise for this thing? WTF?

But wait…. Other conservative economists argue that many of these tax credits are going to people who pay little or no tax to begin with. Apparently nearly half of the people who file federal income taxes pay nothing. Now, the article isn’t clear on whether or not they pay nothing, or nothing in addition to their withholding. Liberals on the other hand say these people are the ones you want to give the biggest break to. They have no option but to spend the money they saved through the credits. When they spend it, guess what gets stimulated!

Now, I love reading stuff that validates what I’ve said in the past. Of course it's the liberal take that's validating me but think about it. Trickle down doesn’t work. Conservatives will argue that if you give the rich a break, they will employ more of the poor. Bullshit. If you give the rich a break, for the most part they just get richer. If you give the less privileged a break, they spend it. When they spend it, it TRICKLES UP. I’ve said it a ton of times. But this is what conservatives don’t like. When you provide relief to the poor and the middle classes, the rich wind up paying more and/ or making less. And here is where conservative like to tell me to go pork myself because I say fuck ‘em. They can AFFORD to pay more. If you tax a guy who makes 30 grand a year at 30 percent he’s left with 20 grand. If you tax a guy who makes 300 grand the same rate he’s left with 200 grand. Taking it a step further, if you tax the 30 grand guy 5 percent (I’m exaggerating for effect) he’s left with 28,500. If you tax the 300 grand guy 50 percent he’s left with 150,000. OK, show of hands… how many of you want to be the 30 grand guy because he’s paying a lower tax rate? Yeah, I thought so.

Now, to take it further. Obama has proposed to allow the tax cuts implemented by THE MORON to expire for individuals making more than 200 grand a year and married couples making more than 250 grand. He has proposed raising the two top tax brackets from 33% and 36% to 35% and 39.6%. He wants an increase on capital gains taxes from 15% to 20% for households making more than 250 grand per year. Finally, he wants to raise the tax on dividend income from 15% to 20%, again for households making more than 250 grand. Is this Socialism? I mean come on. If you are offered 250 grand a year will you turn it down because of the additional 5% in taxes? I guess the ONLY people truly effected in an adverse way are those that made just under the 200 - 250 grand the year before the changes. Boo hoo. They'll get used to it. To quote Mr. T, “I piddy da fools”.

In closing, let’s all take a look at the protest signs so proudly displayed by the tea-baggers. Here’s a link that should provide you with an enjoyable distraction from your busy day. Now, I'm not a perfect speller and my knowledge of the detail that makes for proper English is not what I'd like it to be. I'm sure some of you pick apart these posts! But I'm working on it. And I can assure you if I was to be carrying a sign in public, I would check, recheck, and check again to insure my spelling and grammar were correct. I think I'd also try for more than a thin magic marker and shitty penmanship. Anyway, it's brilliant stuff. They should all write for Hallmark.


Common Sense

Friday, April 16, 2010

Ignorance? Not always…

A couple of things caught my eye last night and this morning that I felt were worthy of comment. The first was Lieutenant Colonel Terry Larkin, a doctor in the US Army. He is refusing deployment to Afghanistan because he does not recognize Barack Obama as the Commander in Chief. Why? Because he doesn’t believe the President was born in the USA. That’s right. Dr. Larkin is a birther. The fact that Dr. Larkin is a birther throws some dirt into my argument that birthers are morons. I’m fairly sure that even a bad doctor can’t be a moron and make it through the rigors of medical training so I need to apologize to the birthers and their movement. I guess they aren’t all morons after all. I still believe that most of them are morons. After all, this issue has been pretty much laid to rest. Hawaii has confirmed multiple times that the POTUS was in fact born there. But what about the good doctor?

I guess the answer is the birthers are a diverse group of morons and bigots. And possibly cowards. Today’s society has been very specific on what is and is not “politically correct”. Outside of the world of radical hate groups there is seldom a mention of race, gender, or religion as a reason for success or failure, competence or incompetence, qualification or lack of qualification that goes unnoticed. Statements such as “she was hired because she was a woman” or, “his failure was expected because he is black” or, “we never expected a Jew to be placed into that position” would garner howls of protest as they should. We have moved far beyond that type of reasoning within the law. But we have NOT moved beyond it in the way many of us think and act. It’s better than it was in the 60’s but we still have a long way to go.

So if Dr. Larkin is not a moron he must be a bigot or a coward. As I ponder this I find myself leaning towards coward. After all, a bigot is likely a moron. I think we HAVE evolved as a society to the point where we realize gender, race, or religion does not qualify or disqualify anyone from anything. Well, maybe there aren’t any women out there that will win a big dick contest. And I guess a Muslim won’t win “Jew of the year”. It’s also unlikely that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will be competing in the “Miss USA Pageant” any time soon. But anything of substance is pretty much attained by hard work and dedication (or in the case of big business, occasionally by who you know) not by gender, race, or religion. Well, a member of a “protected class” might be advanced by someone who feels the need to proclaim to the world “Look at me! I’m not a racist/homophobe/woman hater/religious persecutor”/etc. Of course, if one feels the need to proclaim it, one likely has issues around it. But one would hope that a doctor, by virtue of their training and education would be very much aware of all this. Therefore, Dr. Larkin must in fact be a coward. This is the only sound reason he would refuse deployment to Afghanistan right?

Well, maybe not. Because as I continue to ponder the issue I realize that one might not necessarily need to be a moron to be a bigot. I think it has been demonstrated that reasonably intelligent people can in fact become blind to reality and be so infused with hate that they fail to think logically. Look at the populace of Japan during WWII. These were not stupid people. This was an extremely advanced society. Look at the Republican Party. There are a ton of seemingly intelligent people there who just don’t get it.

So if you don’t need to be a moron to be a bigot, then Dr. Larkin might very well be a bigot and not a coward. One could argue the point that the birthers get less shit than the KKK so it might behoove one to align with those who feign or claim ignorance to the place of Obama’s birth rather than a hate group. Well, I guess the birthers are a hate group…. But they claim not to be.

So, point number one is that those stinky annoying birthers might not be moronic but instead they might just not like black people or be little fraidy cats….

The second thing I found myself spending time I don’t have on today is an article sent by my friend Roy (thanks Roy) that concerns the establishment of startup news organizations that are being bankrolled by conservative groups. I need help with this one. Those on the right that take issue with the “liberal press” want to go out and create news outlets that will by nature be “conservative press”. Wouldn’t you think they would want to just support “neutral” or “unbiased” press? And this made me think of my mother.

OK, by now you’re wondering just what the hell is wrong with me. How did I get to my mother (may she rest in peace). Well let me tell you…. My mother had one very nasty trait (actually, she had several, but this one seemed to be a major annoyance to me). She COULD NOT accept as fact, that which she did not want to hear. In other words, if she didn’t believe it, then it couldn’t be true. Needless to say, she was a Republican (he said, with a wry grin). So I wonder, is this a trait shared by a big chunk of the Republican Party? Is this inability to accept anything other than what you want to hear, one mark of a conservative? I think it might be! Does this indicate ignorance, bigotry, cowardice, or some combination of the three? I think it does. Why? I’m glad you asked.

Ignorance is easy. When one is too stupid to formulate your own reality, you let others do it for you. And those others are generally those that are saying what you want to hear. Not necessarily the truth mind you. But what you want to hear. And it doesn’t even have to be the primary point. It can be anything that results in your preferred reality. If you don’t want a black leader (bigot), you might be relieved to hear that Obama was not born in the USA (ignorant) because now you can fight against him with a reason that makes you look like a moron instead of a bigot! But since you don’t have the balls to state the real reason you are against him, well I guess that makes you a coward too! So what better way to lessen your feelings of inadequacy and stupidity than to start up news organizations that speak to what you want to hear? Forget the truth. We’ll “FOX” you into a stupor. After all, ignorance is bliss!

Next time we will talk more about ignorance and creating your own reality. But instead of thanking Roy I’ll be thanking Greg. See you then.


Common Sense

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Charlie Wilson's War? No, not THAT Charlie Wilson!

I consider myself fortunate to live in the state of Washington. Sure, it gets gloomy in the winter… and sometimes the fall… and the spring can be a little wet too. But the summers are awesome and the people incredibly laid back. Too laid back sometimes. The driving lacks an aggression I grew up with in New York. But for the most part, laid back is good. So where did this guy come from?

On Monday, April 5th, charges were filed against a Washington man named Charles Alan Wilson for threatening a federal official. The charge was based on a series of voicemails left for Senator Patty Murray. Mr. Wilson was apparently displeased with the outcome of the vote on healthcare. I thought it might be fun to list them and offer my interpretation of what exactly they mean. The text of the messages was taken directly from the court filings. That’s right, this shit is real.

Two things immediately came to mind (a whole bunch of stuff gradually came to mind but I’ll stick to the immediate things). First, this is an example of the people that were so very much against the health care bill. Based on what I’ve read and observed, it’s not really an anomaly. There are a lot of these nut jobs out there. The second thing, and this is really scary, is that this guy is packing heat! Yeah, you can read the court filing in its entirety (here it is ) and see for yourself. At the end they confirm that the guy has a permit to carry. It also explains how they caught Dr. Einstein… I mean Mr. Wilson. First they subpoenaed phone company records to determine incoming calls to the Senator’s office. Then they matched up times with the voicemail messages. Finally, posing as a member of an organization attempting to repeal the bill, an undercover FBI agent phoned Mr. Wilson and asked if they could record a call and Wilson agreed they could. He then went on to use much of the same language, analogies, and descriptive phrases he used in the voicemails. That, combined with the fact that the voices matched exactly, proved to be Wilson’s undoing.

Now, before we begin, I want to point out that I was displeased with my congressman’s vote. He voted against the bill as did the rest of his party. I did exactly what Mr. Wilson did. I called his office. There are two differences however. I pointed out I was disappointed and would not be voting for the congressman again and I did not get into the detail that Mr. Wilson did. And I only called once. Wilson called sixteen times!

Please be advised that Mr. Wilson uses language that makes me look like a Disney character. He even uses a word that I find to be so vile and offensive that I have probably only uttered it a handful of times in my entire life… and every time I have it’s made me shudder with self loathing. I didn’t spell that one out. So, off we go!

Message #1.

“I hope you realize there’s a target on your back now. There are many people out there that want you dead. Just remember that as you are politicking for your re-election. It only takes one piece of lead…. Kill the fucking senator! Kill the fucking senator! I’ll donate the lead…. Now that you’ve passed your health-care bill, let the violence begin. Let the violence begin. There’s people gonna get hurt over this son of a bitch. We, the people, will not subside, succumb to socialism. Let the violence begin. You will find out and you will actually really pay. You have awakened a sleeping giant. The American people will not put up with it. We are not a country of cowards, as one of the high ranking people of this administration says. You’ll find out how fucking cowardly we really are, my dear. Better get under your desk, get on your (unintelligible).”


I’m a moron and I own a gun.

Message #2

“With the passing of your health-care bill, it is living proof now that this great country that believes in God and guns. Since you’ve done this, there’s going to be some bigger targets on your fucking back…. I hope somebody kills you, and I hope somebody kills [the President]. Yes, die, dead. You’re signing my death warrant, so I want to sign yours, fucking bitch.”


I have trouble speaking English, I voted for McCain, and I’m a moron.

Message #3

“As you grow older you are going to have a target on your back forever, for voting in socialism into this country with your health-care bill and your cap’n tax. You’re gonna have a target on your back for the rest of your life. How long do you think you can hide? Yes, for the rest of your life. And there is going to be-it could be a senior citizen, could be a veteran, could be a mad momma, an upset momma. By your attempts to overtake this country with socialism, somebody’s gonna get to you one way or another and blow your fucking brains out, and I hope it does happen. If I have the chance, I would do it. You have created a hatred in this country against socialism, and you low-life backstabbing, lying, cheating, politicians are going to be held accountable. And hopefully it is with your life. I hope it’s with your life. I hope somebody takes your fucking fat ass fucking out, I really do. And it’s just my belief. I’m not a tea party bagger. I’m an independent U.S. voter. I’m neither Republican nor Democrat. I hope you fucking die. I want to fucking kill you. I hope somebody fucking hangs you, blows your fucking brains out. We will not be socialized, you fucking c..t. Get it through your fucking brains head. You have – you are a marked person for the rest of your fucking life, you fucking slut.”


My mad momma hates me and I killed small animals as a child. AND I really, really, really, like the target on your back analogy. Oh, and I’m not a “tea party bagger”… I’m a moron….. and I think you sleep around.

Message # 4

“Kill the fucking Senator! Hang the fucking Senator! I hope somebody puts a bullet between your fucking eyes. Far left liberal socialist democratic bitch. You mother-fucker. You sold the fucking people of the country out for socialism. I hope somebody fucking erasers your fucking life. Yes, I hope somebody assassinates you, you fucking bitch.”


I like to use the f word more that that liberal fucking blogger Common Sense! I’d like to save one bullet for the space between that rat bastards eyes. And I like sentence fragments. And I find socialism irritating. And I think “erasers your fucking life” is a fun way of saying “kills you”.

Message #5

“In watching how this government works, this is not a striking and what you’re doing to this country, I surely hope somebody puts a fucking bullet through your fucking brain. I hope they blow your fucking brain all over the fucking wall. Yes, I hope somebody assassinates you. I wish Somebody would kill you…. I wish somebody would blow your ass off the face of the fucking earth. Yes, assassinate you. I wish somebody would blow your fucking brains out…. Not only do I say ‘Kill the bill!’ I say ‘Kill the fucking Senator! Hang the fucking bitch! Hang that mother-fucking bitch from a fucking gallows! Kill the bill, kill the Senator too.”


You know that King Crimson group that does that prog rock shit? They do a song that goes “ I repeat myself when I’m distressed, I repeat myself when I’m distressed, I repeat…” They’re talking about me!!!! And I still have trouble with English. And I’d like to kick the shit out of that asshole Common Sense! Kill the blogger! Kill the fucking blogger!

Message #6

“I do believe that every one of you mother-fucking socialist democratic progressive mother-fuckers need to be taken out. Put in front of a fucking firing squad and shot between the fucking eyes. Assassinated, you fucking low-life. There is a growing hatred, my dear, for you progressive socialist democrats. Socialism will not work. There is a growing hatred. And guess who caused it? You, you! My hatred is coming from you, you fucking slut. Since you are going to put my life at risk, and some bureaucrat is going to determine my health-care, your life is at risk, dear. Yes, your life is at risk. There are a lot more of us. There are a lot of crazy people out there, and your security may stay with you for a long time, but somebody will get through. You never know. Your life is in danger, since you’re putting my life in danger. Turn about’s fair play.”


I have anger issues and still wear a diaper. And I’d vote for Sarah Palin in a heartbeat! I hear she can put a bullet between the eyes of a “mother-fucking socialist democratic progressive mother-fucker” with a slingshot at two hundred yards! And I’m not just a moron… I’m a CRAZY moron amongst other CRAZY morons! Fuckity fuck fuck!

Message #7

“Fuck you socialists up the ass. You’re dead fucking meat, Murray! You’re dead fucking meat! Baby killer, Murray. I hope somebody gets through your security and blows your fucking brains out, you fucking baby killing fucking bitch. Yeah, you fucking spineless fucking whore. You Pike Street fucking whore. I hope sombody gets through your security and blows your fucking brains out, you fucking baby killer. Blows your fucking brains out. We will not be socialized, you fuking c…t. Get it through your fucking head. You have – You are a marked person for the rest of your fucking life, you fucking slut.


I am having a homo-erotic fantasy about socialists. And it suddenly strikes me you might be a baby killer! Somebody call the cops! Oh, and you turn tricks on Pike Street… and I repeat myself when I’m distressed, I repeat myself when I’m distressed, …… did I mention I’m a moron?

Message #8

“Senator, you just got done fucking the people of this state, the senior citizens of this country and most everybody else, to satisfy your idealogical ideas. We are going to fuck you up. We are going to fuck you up as bad as we can. Yes, the independents. The real people of this country, not you spineless fucking socialists. You better watch your fucking back, baby, because there’s people gonna come after you with fucking both fucking barrles, bitch. You fucking Pike Street whore.”


I’m fucking, you’re fucking, everybody’s fucking! And where the hell did I come up with Pike Street whore? What am I… nuts?

Message #9

“Somebody is eventually gonna get through your security and put a fucking gun to your head, and hopefully I will be able to watch somebody blow your fucking brains out. You’re so fucking ignorant. I would actually pay to help that person, you fucking sleeze-ball fucking c..t. You are ruining this country. You have awakened a sleeping giant and we are coming after you. Yes, we the people. As you trash our Constitution, you tried to lead us into a socialistic nation, we’re gonna fuck you up. We’re gonna fuck you up so fucking bad, you’re gonna be fucking….. I hope somebody gets through your security and blows your fucking brains out. Yes, I truly, really, with all my heart, hopefull somebody does that.”


So, to rehash my sentiments for the umpteenth time… fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking…..

Message #10

“The old saying goes, my dear, all’s fair in love and war. This is war, so everything is fair. Cover your back. You better have eyes in the back of your head. Cover your back, all’s fair in love and war. Nobody comes out a winner. You may think you’re a winner now. You’re gonna be the biggest fucking loser. Youhave a horrendous amount of people that dislike you and your policies, and since we are, you have declared war on the American citizens, and we are declaring war upon you. Watch your back.”


Wise men saaaay only fools rush innnnn…..
But I can't help, falling in love with yoooooou……

Message #11

“Now that you have finally screwed the people of this State and helped screw the people of this country, I hope that you are very, very proud of yourself. You’ll go down in the annals of time as one of the most fantastic Pike Street whores that Washington has ever had. I want to thank you so much for ruining my life and yes, for killing babies. Voting on a bill that kills babies, you ought to be very, very proud of yourself. That’s what you should run on from this Fall as you run around town in your sneaker shoes. Yes, uh, it’s not that I hate you. I’ve never met you. But your policies and your ideals suck. Yes. In your dying days, I hope it turns around and bites you in the fucking ass so fucking hard, you fucking c..t.”


I’m still fucking, you’re still fucking, even the Pike Street whores are still fucking! We’re just a bunch of fucking fucks! Fuckin’ Aaaaaaaay! Did I really say “sneaker shoes”?

Message #12

“I hope we shove this health-care bill so far down your throat. You shoved it down our throat, we’re gonna shove it up your ass. Yes, we’re gonna shove it right up your ass. We’re gonna take your ass out of office. That way, you cannot harm us any more. Maybe I will not have to go to the end-of-life classes that you have planned for us. Because you’re gonna be there some day, too, yourself. So you better study up, my dear.”


You shove the health-care in, you shove the health care out, you shove the health care in, and you shake it all about… do the hokey pokey as you shove it down your throat…no wait, your ass, yeah, your ass…. That’s what it’s all about! Now excuse me. I’m late for Sarah Palin’s lecture on death panels.

Message # 13

Yes Patty, I hope you choke on your health-care bill. We’re choking on it. Yes, me are a senior citizen on social security and medicare. I want to thank you so much, very very much, for signing my death warrant. You, you have given me so much in your career, I don’t know how to thank you. Oh, gee, thank you so much. I, I just love this new health-care bill. I’m glad I finally got to state that I need to go pass away when I have out-lived my usefulness you, you. Yes, that makes me so glad. At least I know that I will be taken care of, you know, in the after-life….. It’s sad to say, but uh, we won’t go down without a fight. A big fight, and it can hurt people. You’re already hurting me, so when I’m hurt, I want to hurt back. And I think that turn-about’s fair play…. Thank you so much for signing my death warrant. Too bad It’s not yours.


Me are a senior citizen on social security and medicare. Gooby gooby gagga woo woo yaka yaka weeeeeeeee!

Message #14

“Senator….. Fuck you. You are fired. You are 86’ed. Fuck you, you Pike Street fucking whore. You fucking slut. Come over to Yakima and list-Come on down to Grandview and get some more spit dick there, you old fucking c..t.”


Hey! I think I’m Donald Trump! Gotta go buy me one of them thar fancy hair pieces! And has anyone seen my little “spit dick”? I was going to use that next time I went down to Pike Street!

Message #15

“Fuck you liberals. We’re gonna take you out, Murray. We’re gonna take you out. Fuck you, God damn liberals.”


Might I interest you in dinner and a movie?

Message #16

“Oh, you were in Yakima last week. How come you didn’t give a big speech to the people outside waiting to see you? Yeah, we were outside waiting for you, hopefully you would come out and explain to us how come this health-care bill that you railed on so highly is going to create the biggest drain in American history. It’s going to cause so much pain and suffering. I would like to thank you so much, for robbing from me and putting on my childrens’ plate the most ridiculous, underhanded, back-door lying, cheating, unconstitutional. Fuck you, you fucking slut, you fucking c..t. I wish you the fucking pain I am going through. I wish it upon you. I hope you had the worst fucking Easter of your entire fucking life. We are coming after you , bitch, taking you out of fucking office. We are going to remove you from doing any more damage to the people that you are supposed to represent, not rule. Fuck you c..t, you fucking Pike Street fucking slut.”


Tonight for dinner, me and the kids are having a heaping helping of “ridiculous, underhanded,back-door lying, cheating, unconstitutional” with a side of “fucking slut”. When you get a minute, could you let me know your thoughts on whether or not I used the words fucking and fuck enough? I’d count them… but golly there’s a passle of ‘em… and you know?... I have that moron thing going….. Oh! Happy Easter!

So there you have it. The saga of Charles Alan Wilson, the fucking, mother-fucking, fucky, fuck fuck and his fucking brilliant orations on that fucking health bill and that fucking fuck of a fucking Pike Street fucking whore. Fucking brings a fucking, mother-fucking, fucking slut fucking tear to your fucking eye doesn’t it? Fuck yeah it fucking does. Let’s hope the fucker gets twenty fucking years to find out just how fucking fucky fucking prison can fucking be! He’ll be fucking singing the fucking praises of fucking Murray and that fucking health care bill after his first visit to the fucking proctologist!


Common Sense